A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
