That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
