Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
