but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
