if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
