how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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