my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
