Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
