she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
