who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
