Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Panties = found
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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