i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
