And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
