Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Rumble strips road head = magical
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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