were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
