Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
