you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
ok first of all what the fuck
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
