I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm sobbing to NWA
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
