I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
