he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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