We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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