Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
