i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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