So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Duck Duck Cougar?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
