I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
