He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
