Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
