how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
