i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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