try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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