feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
