Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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