I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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