She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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