the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I had to cum in my sink.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
