I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude i'm inner monologue high
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize