youre lurking in front of me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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