My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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