I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
