Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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