...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
