i think my tv is drunk
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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