Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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