I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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