I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
this will be a night to untag.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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