I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
