I showed him my bush... on skype.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
