i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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