OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
