loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
