I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
