I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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