I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
