We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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