I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What a dumb baby whore.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
