College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
