just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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