I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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